Your work in relationship

Your work in relationship

It can be really hard to do your work in relationship when you’re so bothered by someone else NOT doing theirs. My mother used to say “you are one hundred percent responsible for your actions and reactions.” Gosh, I hated my mother sometimes. I rolled my eyes and knew she was right even as a…

Taming Required

Taming Required

The fox says, “tame me” in Antoine de Saint-Exupery’s famous children’s tale titled The Little Prince. If you haven’t read it, you must. It’s full of those not-really-just-for-children moments when it so gracefully teaches us how to live as adults. I’ve never gotten through it without a lump in my throat, outright anguish sometimes. Tears?…

Alone for the Holidays

Alone for the Holidays

Is it disgusting how early we promote the holidays and plan for them and contemplate them these days? If you’re once again dreading the stretch from Halloween through March (including another Valentine’s Day) as a single person, you are not alone. There’s a reason the chill of autumn signals a downturn in mood and an…

Time Alone

Time Alone

If you’re still searching for a partner, it might surprise you I’m an advocate for time alone. For singles AND for those IN relationship. If you’re looking for a partner, I still advocate time alone regularly. Either way, I know this can sound like crazy-talk. Read on and find out just what I mean. Every…

An Ideal Grief

An Ideal Grief

You might recognize yourself below. Grief and bereavement are strangely universal experiences and painfully unique. Whatever you are feeling during your process (and it is a process, not an event) this grief is something that will change you in ways you can’t predict. There’s no wrong way to do it. There are right ways to…

Calling BS! on the directive: “you...

Calling BS! on the directive: “you need to be alone!”

In therapeutic circles and with well-meaning friends, you’ll hear the advice: you just need to be aloneĀ  or you need to just take some time for yourself after heartache. You might hear the opposite as well -from your friends and your mom- you just need to get back out there and meet someone! You’re not…

Love Matters

Love Matters

At least part of you knows already that the quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life. A seventy five year study at Harvard proves it. Watch the TEDtalk on this. It’s beautiful (and less than 13 minutes.) See. Love Matters. Most of you suspect that having a loving partnership is central to…

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