Beth’s Bio

Hi, I’m Beth Luwandi Lofstrom, MA, LPC.
I’m a therapist and Life Coach, and a realistic romantic.

 

 

People ask all the time how I do what I do.

I love it, actually. In fact, you could say I’m made for it.

They imagine the mass of collective pain I witness. They envision me listening to the toughest stuff of life in session after session.

It’s not just pain and the tough stuff. It’s the best stuff of life, really. I’ll explain.

For starters, I value people above everything else on the planet. They’re never more beautiful than when they explore their lives and invite me into their truth. I never forget how risky it can feel for them starting out.

After all, I already know I can help. They need to experience that to trust it. Just the act of reaching out and taking the risk humbles me. I’m awed by that kind of bravery. It never gets old.

Are you my People?

My clients are successful, intelligent people who long for healthy love but struggle with unfinished loss, heartache, or an approach that’s just not working. They’re frustrated. Overwhelmed. Anxious. Sad.

True, I meet them when they’re in some of the most painful conditions of their lives: heart-broken, heart-sick, grieving, after infidelity (theirs or their mate’s,) lost, floundering, or struggling in relationship. If any of that sounds like you, welcome. I’m glad you’ve found me.

Broken relationship of any kind is a loss.

That can mean you’ve lost someone -anyone important- through death, conflict, break-up, or divorce. It can also mean you’re living in a relationship that’s less than satisfying. It could be you’re living with huge disappointments or betrayal. Trust or hope might be foreign concepts.

All this can be recent or ages-old before you decide it’s time for help.

No matter what’s going on, just the fact you’re reaching out stuns me. It inspires me, frankly. YOU are the reason I do this.

Here’s my story.

I didn’t realize it then, but learning that my parents’ marriage was in real jeopardy at age 13 officially marked my quest to understand marriage, healthy love, and the psychology behind people’s choices, what motivates them, how we’re made, and what makes us tick.

After all, I adored my dad and knew him to be a very good man. I loved my mom and I was so proud of her. How on earth did these two people end up here after 28 years, 11 children, three continents, two thriving medical careers, and an idyllic 500-acre farm? Up until then, my family felt rock-solid. I had been oblivious to the struggles in my parents’ marriage. My life wasn’t perfect, but I thought it was mighty good.

They made it another tense 14 years -long enough for all of us to grow up and get through college- before they divorced and my dad remarried. That was more than two decades ago.

But that huge loss… and several others along the way…drove me to try to figure it all out, research and study like mad, work like a crazy woman … all while trying to make everything perfect, pretend my world was NOT totally rocked, avoid the dark abyss, and, above all, hide any trace of stupidity or evidence of my mistakes.

And I made plenty of my own, let me tell you. I like to say I learn by every means possible though I try not to take the hardest route anymore. I’m too old for that. Maybe you are too.

You could try to fix everything yourself.

I did. For years. YEARS. I thought it was the right thing to do.

Listen, I’ve been fascinated by people my entire life. I’m naturally wired to love us, to find answers, to fix, to believe that I could figure anything out and that it was my duty to do it.

All that striving nearly cost me absolutely everything. It got me some good stuff but it kept me in a crazy whirl too. And it kept me from having what I really wanted and value most.

For the longest time, I didn’t even realize what I was trying to fix. I was just driven. Kind of like you.

It gets exhausting.

You know.

Your drive may be different from mine but it likely covers a loss, a wound that needs to heal, not be ignored or “fixed.”

Don’t worry; I’m not going to dig. The road to healing doesn’t mean staring into the wound or picking at scabs. It doesn’t mean running marathons while you’re bleeding either. Lucky for both of us, I know what to do with your wounds and scabs when they surface.

Right now, you want some peace. Hope. Some breathing room. A little relief. Results. And you want it to help long into the future, not just cover things like a band-aid.

We all have our story.

My story includes enormous pain but it has a very happy outcome; it eventually made me good at life.

I finally figured out the relationship thing. I mean, not just on paper. Not just helping others. It made me good IN relationship.

Ultimately, ALL of it definitely made me really good at my job.

I’m not perfect in any of it. I’m human in all of it. And I’m very happy.

This is where our stories intersect.

Let’s make your outcome a very happy one too.

I’m really honored you’re considering sharing your story with me. It’s a huge privilege I don’t take for granted. I know you’re not going to share your story with just anyone!

I can help.

I certainly got an excellent education: from school (two graduate programs, one right here in Cincinnati at Xavier University;) from my work (as an educator and in agency work and private practice;) and from life.

You don’t need to do all your own research and striving and struggling. I’ve done all the hard work already. Trust me, I explored every dead-end. I learned the hard way so you don’t have to anymore.

I like to say “My pain is YOUR gain.” It is. Literally.

If you let me join you.

I want to come alongside you and show you what I learned in a way YOU can use. I want to help you get there with less wasted time, energy, and money.

How are we gonna DO that, you wonder?

First, the way you’re made IS good.

You might be thinking, hey, I like my drive toward perfection. Or yep, I’m a solutions guy. Maybe you call it striving for excellence or being a man or something noble and good like that. It’s the right way to be. I hear you.

I won’t ask you to be someone else.

Maybe you’re super-aware of all your imperfections and foibles and what they’ve cost you already.

Either way, we all need people who see us accurately, understand us and what we’re experiencing, and accept us unconditionally. It’s what I do for you. For starters.

The famous dead psychologist, Carl Rogers, says, “I’m not perfect. If I were, it would not be enough. I am human… and that is enough.” You’re about to learn how true that really is.

Secondly, you want a plan, a strategy, an approach that’s going to solve this challenge.

I have lots of those. They’re effective, tailored to you. My approach has grown from over 20 years of methods research, study and application of brain science, and personality assessment in this and my former career as an educator in colleges and high schools. I’ve acquired an array of skills and methods that work based on how you’re made and how you already approach life. You can read about it under the Methods and Credentials tabs if you want.

Besides, you already know I’ve had my own experiences with devastating loss. I am daughter, partner, lover, parent, friend. I’ve done my own helpful and not-helpful couples and individual counseling. I’ve navigated challenging life transitions. Trust me, I’ve got you covered.

Like I said, my pain is your gain… if you invite me to join you. And I hope you will.

You’re safe here.

I specialize in relationship, yes, and also infidelity treatment including for the offender… no matter how recent or distant. I’m an ally for those exploring their personal and sexual history and identity. I advocate for survivors of intimate partner and family violence. I’m LGBTQ affirming and welcoming. All faiths or no faith, all races and cultures welcome.

Let’s schedule an appointment or a 15-minute in-person consultation. I’d love to meet you!

CONTACT ME