You can change your beliefs.
Think about it: everything you have in life started with an idea. Take a look around. Where did your job come from? How about the house you live in? Even your children began with an idea… even if that idea was only that it would be nice to get some action, some warmth, affection, or some tension-release. 😉
We really do create the life we get to live. It all started with an idea.
No judgment here, either. I’m not saying all those ideas were your best ones. But that’s not the point.
The point is that IF everything you currently have in your life started with an idea, then ANYTHING you want in life can also start with a new or next idea. Those ideas come, you BELIEVE they are possible. You think them so often, you believe them and they DO come to pass. That’s the power of belief.
Change your beliefs, change your life.
“Whether you believe you can or believe you can’t, you’re right!”
You’ve heard that saying, right? It’s SO true. That’s the power of belief in action. What you believe to be true will be true for you. That’s how powerful we truly are. Right now. Even without trying. Some people get all bothered thinking, well, then, there really is nothing we can depend on if there’s nothing REAL to believe in.
But the point is what they believe IS real.
Isn’t it true that people who say “life is hard” actually have a hard life? Don’t people who say, “there’s never enough time” seem to never have enough time? People who say “life is good” are the ones enjoying a good life. And people who say life is an adventure are the ones out living and having adventures!
It’s all in the power of belief. They aren’t just describing life as it’s happening TO them, they are creating and perpetuating the life they want.
That’s why it makes sense to check what you are believing. Is this the kind of life you actually want to experience? If not, work on changing your beliefs. Go right to the heart of that underlying belief and change it if it’s not serving you, or helping you, or improving your life. You have that power. It’s one of the privileges of being a human, a conscious, sentient being, capable of observing and being aware of one’s self.
We have in our lives exactly what we believe we deserve.
I’ve said this to clients for years.
You might think something like “do starving children in Calcutta deserve that?”
Wait. I said we have in our lives what we BELIEVE we deserve.
If a child in Calcutta begins to believe she deserves more, she will begin to find a way. (The road may be difficult, but the upward movement begins with belief.) It’s how any upward movement ever begins.
So the same is true for you and me. We are not starving children, but our inner children may be starving for something. So many of us have lack or hurt in our history. Moving beyond that old wounding is necessary in order to have something better. But you know what must come FIRST? A belief that we deserve something better or different.
You must change your beliefs if you are to change your life.
Think about it. We won’t move away from the thing we have (that we don’t want) unless we truly begin to believe we deserve something else or better.We won’t even know what that is until we give ourselves permission to imagine and dream. And we won’t dream until we first believe we deserve something else.
That’s why I WORK with people on the believing before asking them what they truly want in life or relationships. It’s a foundational principle that simply cannot be skipped.
All the time, clients uncover underlying beliefs they picked up along the way, often early in life. Remember, those beliefs were formed with kid-brain in charge. Many of them simply are not accurate or healthy.
Of course, those beliefs get reinforced by experience. People get what they expect and they get more of what they believe to be true (as we said above.) We continue to have the same experiences until we truly believe we DESERVE something better or different. That’s how the power of belief works in real life.
Do you have some beliefs that are keeping you stuck in what you don’t want? Identify them. Question them. Then replace them with something more helpful. Repeat the healthier, or more helpful belief until you actually do believe it. That’s how all your other beliefs and ideas began, after all. Now, you’re just wiser and you can intentionally choose what beliefs you really want to live by.
Need help to change your beliefs?
Here are all the ways we can work together:
- One-on-one sessions for couples or individuals.
- Infidelity Treatment Fast Track, my 12-week program for women whose partners have cheated.
- SSS Life, my ongoing women’s program so you can FULLY heal from relationship wounds and create an amazing life and love story.
- Read my book, After the Affair: Healing for the Offender.