When facing time with family, good boundaries will serve you well. But first, let’s be clear: good boundaries are not “I just can’t take it ANY.MORE!” limits. They’re not demands you hope others will fulfill. They are not cold, hard brick walls. Good boundaries are more like standards you have that keep YOU peaceful, safe, […]
Expert Relationship Help for the Win
Some clients come to me for expert relationship help feeling already defeated, sensing this is their last-ditch effort. They’ve tried everything else. That puzzles me sometimes. Why did they wait so long? How did they let it get this bad? And yet, I get it. I spent years and years trying real hard, endeavoring to […]
Losers Fight
Losers fight and fighters always lose. When it comes to intimate partnership, fighting means you both lose. There’s no losing the battle but winning the war. If there’s a war, you lose, my friend. Period. Fighting achieves exactly nothing. Did you know research clearly shows that debate is not effective in changing others’ perspectives, convincing […]
Communication is key
You need a communication key. It’s true. And so many people say it when they come to me for help. But lots of people think communication means more words. And usually it means exactly the opposite. Use fewer words; say more. Here’s how this works. Listen, you already know the words you say are a […]
Holidays…Again
Here we go. The holidays again. If you’re in a relationship, it can feel like major testing time. And for those of you alone for the holidays, I know that’s its own separate challenge. Don’t skip this article because if you have tension with ANYONE in your life over the holidays, the process I describe […]
Communication Matters
Communication. It’s key. People coming to me for help in their relationships (alone or together) tell me all the time that they “just need to improve their communication skills.” Most people strive really hard to do just that. They work on being kinder and having a softer approach. They work really hard on analyzing correctly […]