Emotional Pain

Cognitive Reframe to the Rescue

Cognitive reframe is not just a psychotherapy term. It is that. But it’s more. You can actually do it with your masterful mind and FEEL better. It’s sort of like magic. Or ninja neuroscience. Here’s how to engage a cognitive reframe: you notice how you’re thinking about a thing: “oh my God, there’s no toilet […]

Enough of what you want

What’s the stuff that gets you through these cold, spare-feeling months after the holidays? Here in Cincinnati, as I write, it’s late January, cold, with a dust of snow on the ground and spurts of gusty wind, so the reflective, winter hibernation feeling pervades. Even if it’s sunny and warm where you are, I’m sure […]

Your work in relationship

It can be really hard to do your work in relationship when you’re so bothered by someone else NOT doing theirs. My mother used to say “you are one hundred percent responsible for your actions and reactions.” Gosh, I hated my mother sometimes. I rolled my eyes and knew she was right even as a […]

Taming Required

The fox says, “tame me” in Antoine de Saint-Exupery’s famous children’s tale titled The Little Prince. If you haven’t read it, you must. It’s full of those not-really-just-for-children moments when it so gracefully teaches us how to live as adults. I’ve never gotten through it without a lump in my throat, outright anguish sometimes. Tears? […]

Before you date again

What are the first things you want to know before jumping back into the pool of “plenty of fish?” How to stay away from the slimy, stinky ones? Maybe you’re just wishing you could skip all the painful parts. If you’re angry at all the advice about “wait a year” and “go find yourself first,” […]

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