Remember back when George W took flack for saying “I’m the Decider! I decide what’s best.” Well, no matter what your political leanings, it’s actually true. I mean, he wasn’t the Decider of the entire free world as a stand-alone be-all dictator (thankfully!) but he was the President of the United States and he was […]
Expert Relationship Help for the Win
Some clients come to me for expert relationship help feeling already defeated, sensing this is their last-ditch effort. They’ve tried everything else. That puzzles me sometimes. Why did they wait so long? How did they let it get this bad? And yet, I get it. I spent years and years trying real hard, endeavoring to […]
Losers Fight
Losers fight and fighters always lose. When it comes to intimate partnership, fighting means you both lose. There’s no losing the battle but winning the war. If there’s a war, you lose, my friend. Period. Fighting achieves exactly nothing. Did you know research clearly shows that debate is not effective in changing others’ perspectives, convincing […]
Can this Marriage be Saved?
People often ask “can this marriage be saved?” They want to know if their situation is SO bad there’s NO hope. Did they marry the WRONG person? Have they totally screwed things up? Are they in all this pain now simply because they got married for all the WRONG reasons? Yup. Yup, that’s it. There […]
Relationship Patterns Busted
We all establish relationship patterns, sometimes without realizing it. Even when you’re aware you’re doing the same dance (or experiencing the same frustrations) it can be hard to see things clearly from the inside. Maybe one day you suddenly realize you’re doing all the reaching out. You text and call. You initiate contact. You come […]
Your work in relationship
It can be really hard to do your work in relationship when you’re so bothered by someone else NOT doing theirs. My mother used to say “you are one hundred percent responsible for your actions and reactions.” Gosh, I hated my mother sometimes. I rolled my eyes and knew she was right even as a […]
Taming Required
The fox says, “tame me” in Antoine de Saint-Exupery’s famous children’s tale titled The Little Prince. If you haven’t read it, you must. It’s full of those not-really-just-for-children moments when it so gracefully teaches us how to live as adults. I’ve never gotten through it without a lump in my throat, outright anguish sometimes. Tears? […]