People often ask “can this marriage be saved?” They want to know if their situation is SO bad there’s NO hope. Did they marry the WRONG person? Have they totally screwed things up? Are they in all this pain now simply because they got married for all the WRONG reasons? Yup. Yup, that’s it. There […]
Relationship Patterns Busted
We all establish relationship patterns, sometimes without realizing it. Even when you’re aware you’re doing the same dance (or experiencing the same frustrations) it can be hard to see things clearly from the inside. Maybe one day you suddenly realize you’re doing all the reaching out. You text and call. You initiate contact. You come […]
Enough of what you want
What’s the stuff that gets you through these cold, spare-feeling months after the holidays? Here in Cincinnati, as I write, it’s late January, cold, with a dust of snow on the ground and spurts of gusty wind, so the reflective, winter hibernation feeling pervades. Even if it’s sunny and warm where you are, I’m sure […]
Holidays…Again
Here we go. The holidays again. If you’re in a relationship, it can feel like major testing time. And for those of you alone for the holidays, I know that’s its own separate challenge. Don’t skip this article because if you have tension with ANYONE in your life over the holidays, the process I describe […]
Communication Matters
Communication. It’s key. People coming to me for help in their relationships (alone or together) tell me all the time that they “just need to improve their communication skills.” Most people strive really hard to do just that. They work on being kinder and having a softer approach. They work really hard on analyzing correctly […]
Calling BS! on the directive: “you need to be alone!”
In therapeutic circles and with well-meaning friends, you’ll hear the advice: you just need to be alone or you need to just take some time for yourself after heartache. You might hear the opposite as well -from your friends and your mom- you just need to get back out there and meet someone! You’re not […]
Love Matters
At least part of you knows already that the quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life. A seventy five year study at Harvard proves it. Watch the TEDtalk on this. It’s beautiful (and less than 13 minutes.) See. Love Matters. Most of you suspect that having a loving partnership is central to […]