Tag: treating panic

Three things to manage anxiety right now

Here are three things that will effectively help you manage anxiety immediately.

You know this. Simple doesn’t always mean easy, But these solutions to stress, anxiety, and the WHOOSH of a dysregulated nervous system — the kind that happens for any reason whatsoever — ARE super easy!

Some of you may have had me go over these in a one-to-one session, but running through them is always a good reminder.

You are going to LOVE the third one. I left the easiest and most effective one for last.

You can do any of them right now to manage any type of anxiety.

That’s because they use your breath, a thing you have with you always. And look, don’t knock it until you TRY it. Sometimes people skip the simplest things, am I right? 

Too bad because, in life, the simple, guiding principles are really the easiest to follow. The same is true of breath work. You always have this resource, even in the middle of a panic attack.

(I’m doing the first one right now as I’m writing this. Not kidding. I’m doing it because my honey is making a racket in the kitchen while I’m trying to think. Grrrrr 😉 Stay tuned to see how well it works.)

Calming Breath works within minutes to lower anxiety. 

Use this one when you’re agitated but not having a panic attack. It will work for calming a panic attack, but the other two are more effective and faster for that. Here it is:

Breathe in for a count of THREE.

Exhale for a count of SIX.

Do this for as many controlled rounds as you like until you come to a state of calm.

The KEY is to EXHALE twice as long as you inhale.

That means you can INCREASE the Inhale to FOUR and the exhale to EIGHT once the breath is controlled. I love to start with THREE and SIX because they are EASIER. (I love to make things simple AND easy when possible.)

Why it works

This calming breath stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, the part of your nervous system that controls your smooth muscles: your internal organs and digestion. This portion of your nervous system is associated with CALM and conservation of energy. Doing this will actually lower your heart rate, and your blood pressure.

Activating this “rest and digest” portion of your nervous system overrides the “fight or flight” response associated with your sympathetic nervous system.  Activation of the sympathetic nervous system accompanies anxiety and any version of anxiety, so overriding it is key to reversal.

(I did this one while I was typing, and guess what? The man’s cooking noises are no longer interfering with my thought process. Not even a little!)

Box Breathing is recommended for relieving anxiety

This one is good for fairly high anxiety. It takes more concentration than the Calming Breath, but focusing on it is part of the charm of why it works so well.

You do not have to do this one perfectly to start, just make the effort, and soon you’ll be holding steady on the structure of this controlled breathing method. Here it is:

  • Breathe in for a count of THREE
  • Hold your breath for a count of THREE
  • Exhale for a count of THREE.
  • Hold your breath for a count of THREE.

If you want an even greater effect, you can motion with your hand:

  • UP as you breathe in
  • OVER as you hold your breath
  • DOWN the other side as you exhale.
  • OVER to complete the BOX as you hold your breath at the bottom.

Hence, the name, Box Breathing.

Again, you can increase the “size” of your box to FOUR counts if you’d like. I start at THREE because it’s much easier. You can increase to FOUR as your nervous system calms down.

Why it works

Again, this kind of breathing stimulates your parasympathetic nervous system and inspires calm. But when you are having fairly high anxiety, it can be difficult to “wait” for the effects of Calming Breath. So, having something to concentrate on — the box — increases its effectiveness.

In addition, holding your breath expands absorption of oxygen in your system and that helps your parasympathetic nervous system activate even faster and more effectively. 

The third technique to try takes almost no thought or concentration. You just have to DO IT. It is, by far, the most effective and easiest method to counter the symptoms of anxiety, nerves, or a full-blown panic attack. You can do it anywhere, undetected. Here it is:

Bearing Down is magic for anxiety management

Yup. That means just what you think it means. Bear down as you would if you were trying to push a poop out! (But don’t poop your pants, of course.) Or ladies, if you’ve given birth, this is exactly the action you use when you’re pushing the baby out.

Take a breath. Hold it. Bear down: put pressure on your rectal and undercarriage area. Then release and breathe normally.

Repeat until the severity of anxiety lessens. It really shouldn’t take all that long. Two minutes, maybe three. Then, if you’d like, you can continue with one of the other breathing options. 

Why it works

Like the others, this action stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system. It does so by activating the vagas nerve, the body’s longest cranial nerve extending between the brainstem and your gut. This nerve is the most important one you possess for the “rest and digest” parasympathetic nervous system. Stimulating it is KEY to a quick change in your dysregulation or activation.

And, it works DURING a full-blown panic attack within THREE minutes. If you’ve ever had a panic attack, you know that three minutes of doing something that will help is so much better than trying to think your way out of it. (Pssst, you can’t think your way out of a panic attack. You have to change your breathing.)

What else can you do to manage anxiety?

These three breathing/body methods might be all you need in order to cope with life stress and any dysregulation that comes up.  

(I hear you asking, Is Bearing Down really a breathing technique? My answer: Well, you hold your breath and then release it. So, I say, yes, it is. And, for the record, Die Hard IS a Christmas movie. 😉 )

Having a healthy vagas nerve is super important. 

When it’s fully functional, it can mean the difference between being caught off guard and trying to manage in the moment, versus building your resilience to a normal environment. 

With a healthy vagas nerve, you’ll know and feel confident that you can meet ANY challenge that arises.

There are so many other things you can do to regulate a “fight or flight” response. But I don’t mean talking through it. (You also don’t have to re-live any traumatic experience in order to heal it.) Remember, we do NOT want to rehearse our pain. That intensifies it and just serves to make it worse and make us less resilient.

Look, there are ALWAYS reasons your nervous system becomes more sensitive and that your awareness of danger is heightened. You came by that response for very good reasons. 

But I’m also not talking about figuring out where the anxiety comes from or how and why it originated.

Talking through the WHY of it all is NOT what it takes to heal. 

No one anywhere has EVER thought up a solution to a problem by using the thinking that caused it. (That’s Einstein, not me, but we agree on this one.;-) )

The Key to a Healthy vagas nerve is simpler than you think. The three ways of using your breath absolutely will help. But if something is more troubling than you can manage on your own, or you want support learning and making these skills part of your everyday routine, I can help. 

If you’re having any kind of dysregulation, there’s a solution. 

There might be a chance for you to get in to see me on either Monday, December 22, or December 29. GO HERE to check the Schedule and make an appointment.

BOOK NOW

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Handle Fear Itself

The way you handle fear just might be your biggest challenge in life. Not just right now, but in absolutely everything at all times. In fact, it might be the only challenge that really matters. (Well, that and managing shame, the other troubling emotion but even shame does not paralyze in quite the same way as fear. It’s not as contagious, for starters. More on that in a later blog post.)

When Franklin D. Roosevelt said “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself” he knew what he was talking about. It applies today. And yes, it does apply to fear around our money as FDR meant when he said it in his first inaugural address.

Now is a great time for people NOT to panic about the economy and about their money. History bears this out time and again: those who resist the panic and keep their wits about them are the ones who get the real pay off in the end. Especially when it comes to economic things.

No matter what you apply it to: health, relationship, wealth…everything we do is either in faith or in fear.

I mean it. Every single step, every move you make, every vow you take (sorry, I distract myself with song lyrics.) But it’s still true; it’s ALL fear or faith.

Every single thing you confront today is either done in faith or fear. You are moving through life in faith or in fear. Going to work, driving your car, flying on a plane, submitting that work proposal, trying to improve your health, talking about that thing with your boss, your mate, your sister, or your dad.

I guess you can be doing something in a trance as well, unconsciously. Yet underneath it, even your subconscious is in faith or fear.

It matters.

Facing Fear

When handling fear, you don’t need to shout it down or summon angels for help or start a war. That really just makes it worse. It’s like struggling in quick sand. Exactly the opposite of what helps.

Fear is just fear. It’s an emotion. It’s just like every other emotion. And that means you can notice it, say to yourself, “hmmm, that’s interesting” and allow it. Breathe. Let it go.

Just like every other emotion, fear gets more powerful and bigger the more space you give it. What you focus on amplifies. Every troubling nuance, when given attention, becomes something bigger and more troubling.

Good news: when you focus on all the good stuff, that grows too. Including faith. And faith is NOT just an emotion. 😉

Faith is actually a bit meatier. Now, I’m not meaning this in any kind of religious or spiritual sense. I don’t have to be talking from that perspective for this to be real because this is a truth that exists in the secular, human psychology perspective as well. It’s just true. (But if you have a religious or spiritual relationship with faith and perspective, you might already know what I’m talking about. And go ahead, draw on that as you reflect on this if it helps.)

Faith is more powerful than fear. You just need a tiny little bit of the stuff for it to grow. More than an emotion, faith is the expectation of things hoped for. In fact, one text calls it “the evidence of things not seen.” Did you hear that? Faith itself is the evidence of things not seen. Because the faith exists, (the positive belief, shall we say) the unseen thing actually IS. More than an emotion, faith is a state of being.

You’re either stuck in the emotion of fear or you’re in a state of faith.

Managing Fear with Faith

Making this distinction takes power from fear and gives it to faith. Think of fear simply as an emotion and faith as your chosen state of being and you are well on your way to complete freedom from the paralyzing effects of fear, my friend.

It’s that simple.

You know how to manage your emotions.

They’re just feelings you HAVE, and just like any other feeling you have, they will change. So you can tolerate the not-so-fun ones in the moment. They will change. Even the really hard ones based on real crappy things…like learning a mate cheated, or getting dumped, or losing a job, or having a loved one die… I mean those things truly hurt, AND those painful emotions do not stay as intense forever without your help.

Some of you know how to tolerate your pain, not just manage your emotions and that is a very necessary skill. Especially when the thing you feel is pretty unpleasant. And let’s face it, sometimes fear can be pretty intense and grab hold of you. It can seem once you’re in its grip, you’re trapped. But that’s not true.

Handle Fear Intentionally

Concentrate on the good. Count blessings. Garner joy. Repeat the positive. Avoid negatives and catastrophizing. In like fashion, avoid mockery and derision, conspiracy, and complaint. These are all quite a waste of your time and bring fighting energy to a thing that really doesn’t need to be a struggle.

Choose faith. On purpose. Adopt a few soothing mantras if you need them. “Everything’s gonna be all right.” I believe in goodness. “Good things will come of this.” All shall be well.

No matter what phrase or phrases you choose, keep them around and bring them out as a habit, not just when things look dark or threatening. Notice the difference they make.

One woman I see often in the shared lavatory of my office building obviously experiences a lot of fear. She’s always worried about something: the weather, the roads, the soap dispenser, the flu. Her constant mantras are definitely affecting her overall mood, health, movement, and experience in life.

Adopt some positive ones and make them a habit. You’ll reap the benefit of those as well.

Handle Fear with Your Brain

It’s amazing how research and clear thought can keep gnarly emotions at bay. Some of you #brainfirst people already know that. (The downside we talk about sometimes in therapy is too much intellectualizing, too much “thinking your feelings” when those puppies were meant to be felt, enjoyed, and even shared, producing connection, intimacy, and interdependence.)

But at times when the fear factor threatens to overwhelm, there’s nothing like good rationale and clear thinking for truly clearing the clutter and helping one breathe and get back to balance. Take, for example, this Washington Post article explaining why it’s so crucial to slow our movement at times when a virus is on the loose. Good research, informed thought, and measured response help all of us make good decisions and formulate a plan.

And when you’re feeling fearful, having a plan is comforting.

Handle Fear with Movement

That’s right. Move your body. (And if you’re slowing your movement to help slow the spread of coronavirus, move your body within those parameters. I’m heading to pick-up that Kroger order later, for example. I’m not going into the store…because I don’t need to. )

So, if you are slowing your movement, working from home, suddenly with kids home from school, think about your movement and making it intentional. Plan to exercise in the house. Or go out for a walk or run and don’t stop for a chat with the neighbor. Wave. Smile. These are good.

Clean, de-clutter, and organize some more. Knock yourself out and disinfect. Again. Physical movement like this can increases hopefulness, add to lightness of being, keep you from getting cabin fever, and underscore a sense of control.

Just check with yourself to be sure the ways you are moving within your own parameters really ARE serving you, helping keep you measured and well, and feeding your faith, not the fear. There’s no need to be frantic in these movements either.

There you have it. Go with faith, my friend. As much as you are able. And then the rest of the way, when you’re having a hard time with faith, be comforted. You’re not alone. We are in this together. (And that goes for ALL of life, not just virus-time.)

As always, let me know if I can help. I’m here for you. And because I truly believe it is the most responsible and community-minded action, I’ll be seeing you in my virtual office for now. Don’t worry; you’re going to like it too. Plus, I’m here at the blog, on Facebook, and on Instagram…and just a phone call or email away.

Keep the faith. Chin up. Rely on your brain. Move intentionally. You got this.